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Writer's pictureKareena Kumar

What Diwali Means to Me

By Kareena Kumar


The story of the Ramayana marks the victory of good over evil through King Rama’s triumphant battle against demon Ravana. This celebration of good over evil, or light over darkness, is why Hindus all around the world come together to celebrate the festival of lights known as Diwali.


For as long as I can remember, Diwali has been a safety net for me in times of uncertainty. The earliest memory I have of celebrating Diwali dates back to when I was about 3 years old. My Nani (grandmother) sent me an Indian outfit she bought while visiting New Delhi in the marketplace. The sound of my tiny bangles clunked together as I put them on. As soon as I looked in the mirror, I felt like a Disney princess. We got in the car and drove four hours to my aunt’s house in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. As we turned into the neighborhood, I was in absolute awe of how my aunt decorated her house. There were blazing candles placed up and down the driveway, and once we entered the house, a breathtaking aroma of sandalwood, masala chai, and desi ghee filled my nostrils. I was instantly reminded that it was my favorite holiday of the year, Diwali.


Over the years, this recurring memory adapted in my mind as I picked up on more and more details. Every year at Diwali, we perform what is known as pooja (or puja) to say our prayers to the Hindu Gods. We thank them for the blessings received in previous years and invite them into our home to provide prosperity and blessings for the new year to come. The lights in the house are left on all night, and we sing Om Jai Jagdish Hare, a beautiful hymn in Hindi that we play as we do pooja. After everyone does a round of pooja, we sit around the living room and listen to the story of the Ramayana, and every year a different member of the family presents the story.


When I was eleven, it was my turn.. As a child, I developed a stutter and struggled with getting my words out. I often found myself getting teased, which left me with a lack of confidence when speaking or presenting. Nonetheless, I knew I needed to try my hardest. I knew the story of the Ramayana by heart, as I’d always listened to whoever was presenting it each year. But despite all of that,, I experienced many days of anxiousness, waiting for what was to come.


When we got to my aunt’s house that day, I started counting the minutes until I had to present. I prepared notecards and had the overview of the story written down on lined paper. Just before everyone gathered to hear me present, I ran into the bathroom and started to tear up. My breathing was heavy, and my hands began to tremble. I looked down at my notecards in panic. There was one part I’d highlighted. It read: light over darkness. I thought about what my dad had always told me when I asked what light had to do with Diwali. He always said that the reason Hindus celebrate Diwali every year is to celebrate the good rather than the possible bad in our lives; to let there be light rather than darkness, which is why we light candles and keep all of the lights on during the holiday.


I thought of that lyric from Rachel Platten’s Fight Song: “I might only have one match, but I can make an explosion.” I smiled to myself as I realized I had everything I needed to be able to succeed that day, and every day after that. I knew that in this moment, I could focus on the light to get me through the darkness. I went back into the living room and presented the story to my family.


I hardly stuttered the entire presentation, and as soon as I was done, my mom started to cry and wrapped me in a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you, you spoke beautifully.” She whispered, sniffling as she softly kissed my cheek. From then on, I knew how to get over my fear of speaking, along with any other fear that would arise in my lifetime.


Light over darkness is a saying that I carry with me in everyday life. It reminds me to stay optimistic despite hardships and to focus on the good rather than the bad. In certain parts of the world, light does not shine as brightly as it does in other places.


In India, there are villages and towns where electricity is scarce. People rely on every little bit of sunlight they can get to be able to see and to guide their everyday activities. Often, they must build fires to stay warm and light candles, if they have any. Relating this to the idea of good over evil,, it can be hard for people to find their own happiness, or light, in times of uncertainty. It is important to preserve the light you are given and to make the most of your blessings and joy.


When asked what Diwali means to me, it is essentially a reminder, not only on the day of the year it falls, but in everyday life, to remain hopeful despite hardships. When light is not guaranteed, sometimes you must make your own. Every year on Diwali, as I’m surrounded by my family doing pooja and listening to the story of the Ramayana, I am replenishing the presence of light in my life and am given a reminder to always focus on the good rather than the evil.


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